The etiquette of extravagant gifts

A large gift can be the kindest thing that ever happens to someone — or a lifelong awkwardness. The difference is almost entirely manners.

1. No strings. If it comes with conditions, it's a contract wearing a bow.
2. Not a loan in disguise. 'Pay me back whenever' is a loan. Gifts don't have whenevers.
3. Cover the upkeep. A car needs insurance; a house needs a roof. The classiest givers include the first year.
4. Let them say no. A gift someone can't decline is a burden. Make refusing easy and gracious.
5. Don't ask for the post. No thank-you video, no tag, no plaque. Let them tell the story their way — or not at all.
6. Be specific. 'A nice car' creates anxiety. The exact car creates joy.
7. Don't mention it again. Ever. That's what makes it legendary.

The best gifts are remembered by the receiver and forgotten by the giver.

Every wish on wishlisted is built around these rules: exact, unconditional, and — if you like — completely anonymous.